Make your mum laugh with these mum jokes and stories. Have fun and laughter with your mum. Enjoy! Jokes For Mums What did the Panda give his mommy? A bear hug. What makes more noise than a child jumping on mommy’s bed? Two children jumping on mommy’s bed! What kind of coffee was the alien mommy drinking? Starbucks. Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook. What did the lazy boy say to his mom on Mother’s Day when she was about to do the dishes? Relax mom… you can just do them in the morning. What kind of sweets do astronaut moms like? Mars bars. What was Cleopatra’s favorite day of the year? Mummy’s day. Mom: The amazing ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors, in the middle of the night, 3 bedrooms away… While daddy snores next to you. Never doubt a mother! She can carry a screaming Toddler, two gallons of milk, talk on her cell phone and still slap the shit out of you for looking at her crazy. There is a legend that if you take a shower and scream out loud “Mom” three times, a nice lady appears bringing the towel you forgot. Joke Stories 1. Just Visiting My mom moved into a new condo, and I went to visit for a couple of days. Searching for a coffee cup one morning, I sighed, "It seems like I'm always looking for something in your kitchen." "That's good," Mom said. When I looked confused, she explained, "Because when you know where to look, it's time to go home." 2. Weeds I can’t tell the difference between a rose and a dandelion. So when it came time to fix up my garden, I had no clue which plants to keep and which ones to remove. Until, that is, my mother gave me this handy tip: "Pull them all up. If it comes back, it’s a weed." 3. Soup “Mom, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy. “Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his mother replied. After dinner the mother inquired, “Now, baby, what did you want to ask me?” “Oh, nothing,” the boy said. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.” 4. A New Baby For weeks a six-year-old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, “Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?” Tommy burst into tears and confessed, “I think Mummy ate it!” 5. Jokes “Son: Mum, Dad keeps making Dad jokes! Mum: “So?” Son: So, what’s a Mum joke? Mum: “Look in the Mirror, dear.” More Mum Jokes
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