Hey! Do you love playing chess? Well, you will love these chess related jokes than. Enjoy! Laugh out loud. Chess Jokes Two chess players wanted to go to a chess tournament together by car. After some time the driver had to check his street map: “What do you think? Is it better if we take the main variation or the side variation?” Two chess players walked to the railway station but were intensely discussing the spanish chess opening. After some time they realized that they were walking in the wrong direction. One of them said: “Shit, I didn’t memorize the right way to the railway station.” Why can't the Brits play chess? Because they can't tell a Bishop from a Queen. Why did the grandmaster date a Slovak girl? Because he wanted a czechmate. One friend said to the other "I saw an explosive game of chess the other day...", to which the other replied "How so?" "The first move was pawn to c4!" Love playing chess with people I meet in the park. Really hard to find thirty two of them willing to take part, though. Got a job working shifts as a piece in a 24 hour human chess game. I’m on knights this week. Where does a chess player trade in his pieces? At the pawn shop. Why is chess just like real life? The king can only take a step at a time and the queen can do as she pleases. A chess player said to his friend: “My dog can play chess!” “How strong? What’s his rating?” A car accident: First driver leaves his car shouting: “It is your fault, you took the wrong way.” “There is only one right way! Ne4!” Two chess players are immersed in a game of chess: Suddenly one of them makes a move and shouts: “Check!” The other: “Shut up, Idiot!” A chess player joined the Mormon Church. One day he wanted to take part in a chess tournament held on a Sunday. “The heavenly father does not allow this… to play games on Sundays.”, one of the church members said to him. The chess player left the Mormon Church the following days and never returned. My doctor said that I needed to get into a sport 3 times a week for a month if I wanted to lose some weight. I think he’s a quack because I played chess all month and haven’t lost a single gram! Husband comes home late. She: Where have you been? He: I’ve been playing chess. She: And why do you smell of vodka? He: Am I supposed to smell of chess? When I was young I always thought that a pawn shop was a chess players’ club! I was having dinner with a chess grandmaster. The problem was that we had a checkered tablecloth and it took him two hours to pass the salt! Three retired International chess grandmasters were playing chess in a park. The first grandmaster said, “it is windy today.” The second grandmaster said, “no, it is Thursday today”. The third grandmaster said, “me too, let’s go back inside for a drink” How do you know that you’re addicted to chess? That is simple chum! Just subtract the sum of all the love relationships you’ve ever had in your life from the number of chess computer programs you’ve owned in your entire lifetime and see if you end up with a positive number. Voila! How many Grand Masters does it take to change a lightbulb? All of em! One to change it. The rest to analyze his moves for the next 100 years! Last One - Dog Playing Chess A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen." "Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five." For more jokes check out the Jokes Catalog Page
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